


Scarlet

by BraveViolet



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Other, cross dressing, suicide mention and somewhat discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 16:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BraveViolet/pseuds/BraveViolet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life had grown monotonous on the meteor. Not just in the fixed everyday social activities but in the color scheme as well: every floor, furnishing and wall was a fixed shade of grey. The occupants, powers and alien cultures aside, had fallen into a bland routine with about two years left to go. That was why they all turned to a certain Kanaya Maryam whenever their days needed lightening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scarlet

**Author's Note:**

> One of my writing exercises is taking roleplay logs and adapting them into a full fledged piece of written work. I liked this one in particular and thought 'wow let's be dumb and publish it'.

Life had grown monotonous on the meteor. Not just in the fixed everyday social activities but in the color scheme as well: every floor, furnishing and wall was a fixed shade of grey. The occupants, powers and alien cultures aside, had fallen into a bland routine with about two years left to go. That was why they all turned to a certain Kanaya Maryam whenever their days needed lightening. (While Rose seemed a more obvious choice, visits to her usually resulted in a rigorous mental examination and were generally unpleasant.)

She made her way towards her respite-block now, crimson skirt swishing about her legs. Nimble fingers reapplied smeared black lipstick, matching smudges adorning the Lalonde girl's lips and neck on the other side of the labs. After tucking the bullet away inside her violet sash she keyed in a simple code beside the steel door of her block and let her eyes widen in shock as it slid open to reveal the sight waiting for her inside.

“I have just one question Karkat, and that is: why?”

The boy turned slowly, surprised eyes never leaving hers. The shimmering red fabric of his dress (the exact same material of her own work skirt) pooled and rippled on the floor where it was meant to be held out by several petticoats. His face was already beginning a flush a cherry red. “Because why the fuck not?”

“Where did you even get hold of it?” Kanaya stepped inside quickly, letting the door slide shut again behind her and stopped on the opposite side of her worktable. She placed her hands on her hips and rocked back and forth on her heels, fighting to hold back a bark of laughter.

“...I found it in the back of your clothing storage unit.”

“It was hidden there for good reason. You could have just asked, you know.”

“And how would I ask, hm?! I speak one word to _anyone_ on this hunk of rock and the rest know exactly what I said. I'm not risking that, knowing you blubbering idiots.”

“Is it too embarrassing for our brave, heroic leader?”

The tease slipped out like poisoned honey, a smirk tugging at her lips. Karkat's jaw set as he prepared his predictable form of response, jabbing one stubby finger in her face. “Shut up! I just don't think any of you pathetic whiny wrigglers is worthy of knowing what I look like in a dress because you all, especially you Kanaya, have to admit, I look fucking fabulous, and there is literally nothing any of you asshats can do about it.”

Two perfectly arched eyebrows raised in unison. “Alright, so maybe it does suit you, but you completely forgot your accessories.”

At this the boy's face fell in utter disappointment. “Dear god, I may be desperately bored Kanaya, but I am not _that_ bored.”

“No. One either goes for the whole shebang or they aren't ready to be donning such attire. You could at least have done something with your hair.”

“Have you ever tried to tame this shit? It's like a wild fucking meow-beast attached to my cranium.”

“We could try a hat if it's that tangled, or maybe a wee army of clips. And what about your shoes?”

“I am not wearing a fedora, I'm telling you right now. You try to make me wear a fedora and I will skin your matesprit.”

Kanaya ran a hand through her hair, feigning exasperation. “Who said anything about a fedora?! You're not even a nice guy in the metaphorical nor the literal sense.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “I'm just pointing it out ahead of time so that I don't have to do my tirade then.”

“That's good and all, but how do you feel about pumps?

“...Okay, maybe I could go for that.”

“How about we try black for the shoes and coordinate with a necklace? It goes without saying that the bottom of an outfit must match somehow with the top. Yes, I do believe I have a pair somewhere.”

“Uh, okay? You're the expert, supposedly.”

“Excellent.” She strutted to her closet and fumbled around in the chaos that had accumulated there, reemerging with a turquoise shoe box. “Try these out for size.”

Now it was his turn to raise his own thick eyebrows, but he tried the shoes on anyway. “You're taking this really fucking seriously. God, where do you even get all this shit?”

She answered with a hint of pride, “Most I've made. Some my lusus brought back for me when I lived in a hive instead of a cryogenics laboratory hurtling through space and some are things Rose has helped me alchemize.”

“Wow. I'm actually rather impressed. So, shoes. Yes or no? Good look, bad look?”

Kanaya nodded approvingly. “I think they will do for now, although maybe a more boyish style might work better. Perhaps Mary-Janes? I'm surprised you could manage those heels to begin with. As for the necklaces I have on hand, do you prefer obsidian, jet, or black pearls?”

He shrugged. “I don't really care. Let's go with obsidian since it's the most fun to say.”

She finally let out all her laughter at once, hand clutching at her stomach, or where it would have been, as she handed the piece to him. “There, you look positively amazing now.”

He finished clasping the jewelry around his neck and turned to her, quirking a smile. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely. You should try this more often.”

“I don't know what to say to that, but thanks anyway.”

“It is my pleasure.”

Karkat stared at himself in the ornate gold mirror Kanaya had propped against the wall, its emeralds glinting maliciously beneath the fluorescent lights. “You know, I think I get why you do the whole fashion thing. I mean, I could be completely wrong, but I guess I get what motivates you to do all this shit.”

“And what precisely is it that motivates me, hm?”

“I'm going to sound hells of stupid so I'm just going to mysteriously leave off at the end of that thought.”

“If you want to then I won't push you.”

“Thanks, Kanaya.” He sighed and pulled out one of the dark wooden chairs Kanaya had tucked beneath the table and plopped down onto it. “So, what've you been up to? I haven't seen you in a few days.” The girl did the same, brushing a few cut threads off the red and gold embroidery before sitting, hands folded gracefully in her lap.

“Not much really. I have been studying up on a new technique for dying cloth, but I doubt I will be able to try it anytime soon. Other than that however, I've been well.”

“Good to hear, I guess.”

“What about yourself?”

He shrugged. “I've been bored out of my goddamn pan for the last week or so, I think this is the third time I've raided your clothing storage unit? Whatever. Point is, I'm bored and no one seems to want to hang out with me. I don't really blame them, but that's beside the point.”

“You know I would have always loved to spend time with you if you had just asked.”

“You're always off with Rose and I don't feel like third-wheeling.”

“I understand that she takes up a large portion of my time but I haven't any other priorities at the moment.”

The boy shrugged again, his face beginning to resume its usual scowl. “It's fine. You've got a matesprit now. I''m not top priority anymore. Don't know that I ever was. Things happened and here we are.”

“Don't be like that! I feel horrible that I haven't spoken with you as often as I should be and just want to make it up with you.”

“I don't blame you. Let's just forget about it. No, I order you to forget about it... Good to see you though.”

“Same to you, Karkat.”

“Sure. So, do you want to do anything or shall we just sit here and act like awkward little wrigglers?”

Well, I had nothing specific in mind. Did you?”

“Not exactly considering you just walked in on me trying on your clothes.”

She smiled a little, gesturing to the mess strewn across the floor. “You can keep the dress and any others you took a fancy to.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I have no other use for them and they're not exactly ideal things to take up space, collecting dust like they do.”

“Thanks. Like, seriously thanks.”

“It's not problem at all, I'm glad you even like them to begin with.”

“Well what's not to like?” The boy began to blush again. She grinned widely in return.

“It's an honor that anyone would like them, but coming from you it's so much more important.”

“Why should the fact that I like them matter?”

“Because you never openly admit to liking anything.”

“Yeah I do! Just not very often. Yeah. That.”

“Well it means a lot all the same.”

“Good to hear  _someone_ actually values my opinion.”

“Karkat, I always have.”

“Oh look, now you've gone and made me feel and self-conscious and shit, catch me, I'm swooning.”

“Was that the human sarcasm?”

Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes. “No, it was just regular sarcasm.”

“No need to be rude about it! …Or was that yet more sarcasm? It's always impossible to tell, I hate it!”

“I swear to god, you're literally the only person I know who has this much difficulty with identifying sarcasm.”

“It's the whole fact that someone is saying the opposite of what they mean, why can't they just be straightforward?!” she explained hurriedly, getting a little worked up. He sighed in response.

“But the point is is that it's supposed to be so dramatically 'insincere', as you put it, that it makes sense for it to be the opposite. It's not that hard to understand.”

“I try my best, it just is difficult for me to pick up on.”

“Sure, Kanaya. You'll figure it out someday.”

“I hope so.”

“You're a bright girl. You'll get it.”

“I'm sure I will, don't worry.”

“I won't. Because you'll get it and I'll throw a goddamned party.”

“...Was that sarcasm as well?”

“Not really, sort of? The part about the party was.”

“Augh, I detest these figures of speech.”

“Why? Once you have a decent grip with it you can make dealing with moronic bulge suckers much more interesting.”

“I'd just like it if the world could be honest about things without the potential risk for miscommunication.”

“Yeah, well, honesty is going to get you nowhere.”

“What do you mean?”

“Being one hundred percent honest and expecting the same is gonna get you a) duped, b) hoodwinked,c) scammed, or all of the above.”

“Multiple choices aside, it is nice to dream.”

“Yeah, I suppose, but that's just gonna give you false hopes.”

“Most our hopes are dead. Literally.”

He snickered. “Yeah, that about sums up our whole lives really.”

“Everything has just been flushed down the load gaper. Just... gone.”

“Pretty much.” He sighed again. “I miss them.”

Kanaya frowned and looked away. “We all do.”

Karkat hugged his knees to his chest and stared at the floor. His friend tentatively reached out to wrap one arm around him. He leaned into her, wrapping his own around her waist as she covered her face with her free hand. “I'm so, so sorry things are what they are.” Her normally uniform voice cracked towards the end of her sentence as the beginnings of jade tears pearled beneath her dark lashes and spilled down over her cheeks, tracing dark streaks between the cracks in her fingers. Karkat hummed quietly and tried to sooth her best he could. The girl who had fought so hard to keep everyone else in one piece, had taken everyone's loads onto herself but had never asked for much in return, was shattering in his arms at just the slightest implications of an apology.

“Hey... it's not like it's your fault.”

“I'm sorry anyway. It needs to be said, especially seeing as the people who really need to are gone now.”

The mirror stood before them seemed to rattle and rock against the wall, like something within it was trying to break free; voices rose about the pair, trampling over each other in an effort to make themselves heard. “I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-” So many repetitions of the same two words that were so utterly meaningless now: umber, ochre, olive, cobalt, navy, violet and fuchsia all bleeding together in a glorious mess, spilling out of blackened and bruised lips as lifeless faces appeared one by one in front of his eyes. Kanaya seemed miraculously undeterred by the visions. Was he the only one seeing them? She inhaled sharply then and they disappeared, the room seeming to grow lighter again.

Trembling, he pulled her closer so she was sat on the corner of his chair. “I'm sorry too then.” She smiled a little and buried her head in the crook of his neck,steadying him as his hand traveled up and down her back. “What if we lose?”

Her words fluttered like ghosts against his skin. “Then what happens will happen. We can only try our best.”

“And suppose we _do_ make it, what then?”

“I don't know. Things can't go back to what they were, so what would there be to live for? We could never go back, or bring them back for that matter.”

“I don't know. Would we even be able to integrate into the new universe?”

She frowned. He could actually feel it, lips imprinting against his shoulder. “I highly doubt it is possible, but then again, it might be.”

“I suppose we just try to make it through this and then when we reach that bridge we can the burn the fuck out of it... or cross it. Either one works.”

“That sounds like a decent plan.”

He leaned his head against Kanaya's and let out a shaky breath. “Do you ever think about killing yourself here?”

“Sometimes it crosses my mind.” she replied quietly. “In my dreams, mostly. I hear voices giving me instructions, walking me through it, but I can never bring myself to do what they say.”

He nodded. “Good to know I'm not the only one.”

“I feel like a coward for it.”

Bitter laughter filled the space between them. “You and me both, I suppose... I guess I just don't really see the point of it anymore, and it's not like dying feels like it has any consequences anymore.”

“Everything seems to be empty and static, like I'm in a bad dream and I can just wake up and everything will just be normal again. But I never do.”

“That is a creepily accurate way of describing the feeling. That's pretty much exactly it.”

“It's nice to get if off of my chest.” she sighed, squeezing him gently. “Thanks for that.”

He smiled softly and squeezed her back. “Anytime.”

“You really need to drop by more often.”

“I can do that if you want.”

“Please do.”

“Alright. I'll try to drop by more often. Are you...? Nevermind.”

“Am I what?”

“Nothing. Forget it.”

“Oh. Alright then. Well, I would love to see you more, you had better keep your word.”

Karkat stared at the ground for a moment before letting out a heavy breath and hugging the girl a little tighter. “I will.” She hugged him back as tight as she could manage.

“Stay safe, okay? Don't hurt yourself.”

“Same goes for you, got it?” He held her at arm's length, searching her watery eyes.

“I've got it.”

“Good.” he grinned, leaning forward and gently kissing her forehead. Her cheeks lightened to a slight shade of green, nervous laughter issuing from her as she reached up to smooth some of his hair down in a similar affectionate gesture. He chuckled. “That's not gonna do jack shit to this jungle I call hair.”

Kanaya flashed him a toothy smile. “Do you even try to brush it?” He shook his head 'no'.

“I used to, but that was a disaster and totally not work the effort.”

She raised one eyebrow, eyes lighting up. “Why not let me try?” Karkat rolled his eyes with an easy shrug of his shoulders.

“Sure, why not. Don't be disappointed if you're greeted by failure.”

“I'll try my best.” She pulled her comb from her sylladex, spinning Karkat around in his seat.

“You give me an afro and I will cut your hair in your sleep.”

“Are you really in a position to be threatening me?”

“Yes.”

“Is that so? What if I braid it?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I'd actually be impressed because I don't know many people who can braid with this small amount of hair.”

“Does that mean you'll give me a chance, pink ribbons and all?”

“Fine. I'm going to take it out anyways.”

“Wonderful.”

She rested one hand on the nape of his neck and set her comb at the base of a particularly tangled tuft, slowly dragging downwards. Karkat grimaced and burst out with a long string of expletives, but miraculously kept still until Kanaya deemed that section appropriately brushed through. “That wasn't so bad, was it?”

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I felt like every single hair was being pulled viciously out of my scalp, do you have any idea what that is like?! Whatever the hell you were trying to achieve has probably failed miserably and guess who had to pay the price: me. I cannot believe you even talked me into this, that is it I am leaving-”

Kanaya reached out and roughly yanked Karkat back into his seat. “Calm down, it's alright.”

“No, I don't want you hurting me!”

“Karkat I did not mean to hurt you and I am not going to try that again. If you would just quiet down a moment I can finish up here. I'm sorry for hurting you, it won't happen again.”

“Don't apologize.”

“But I-”

“No. I'm going to apologizing for flipping my shit and then there will be no more. I'm sorry. There. Done. Now finish your hair thing.”

Kanaya set the brush down and flicked his neck before she began braiding the smoothed section, deft fingers winding in and out of each other. She seemed to procure the ribbons out of nowhere, tongue held between her teeth as she tied a loose, drooping bow. “There. All finished.”

Tentative fingers reached back and examined the perfectly uniform braid. “How do I look?”

“Pretty as a picture, or so the saying goes.”

“Thanks. You've done a lot, I appreciate it.”

“Once again, my pleasure.”

The pair stood, Karkat to admire himself in the mirror some more albeit from a good distance, Kanaya to pack away all the clothes the boy had chosen and thrown everywhere. She collected all the garments in a pile and knelt down to fold them all nicely, spare necklaces thrown on top. Her door slid open almost silently behind them except for a quiet hiss; only Karkat looked up.

“Hey Kan-Kan, I ripped my cloak again and I need you to-”

“Dave how many times must I tell you, god tier outfits will repair themselves in a matter of minutes. You don't need to come to me every time you manage to damage yours.”

She didn't even bother looking up, instead finished tucking the clothes into the shoe boxes and then stood, dusting her skirt off with a contented smile. Karkat was burning an obscene shade of red but still hadn't moved.

“What did I just walk in on?”

“A bit of fun, that's all.”

“I feel traumatized. This image is burned into my mind forever, every single verse I write from here on out is going to be about this vision in scarlet and how it ruined my life.”

“Dave fucking Strider if you say one more word I swear I will-”

“Oh my god,, is that pink?! You're wearing a pink ribbon, oh man, if Rose saw this she'd-”

“Dave Strider!”

“Kanaya!”

“Hey, shitstain!”

“Karkat!”

“Karkat Vantas there is no need to yell-”

“Kanaya, you started this!”

“Hey! Both you grey shouting idiots!”

“Both of you will be quiet right now or I will personally see to it that neither of you exit this room in one piece, is that understood?!”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Yes, Kanaya.”

“Good.” She crossed the room in a single stride and shoved the box into Karkat's arm's with sudden ferocity, then ushered both boys out the door with a series of 'yes I knows' and 'it was lovely of you to drop bys'. Once they were back in the hallway she made sure the door stayed shut with the keypad on her side of the entrance, leaning her back against the cool metal and slumping to the ground with an exhausted groan.

“To think such a sweet moment could have been so rudely interrupted by a human. That's how it always is it seems.” She glanced down at the rest of the ribbons still clutched in her fist. She'd have to apologize and give the rest to Karkat as soon as possible. He'd left his clothes behind as well, she debated over keeping them for herself or washing and returning them, deciding on the more selfish option. “A vision in scarlet... I'll have to tell Rose about that, it seems poetic, tragic even.”

She let her head fall back and closed her eyes, her last sight the reflection of herself in the golden mirror, fourteen weary hands beside her, guiding her into rest.


End file.
